A Prison Inmate's Testimony in SCDC
"Lifted Out of the Pit" – Justin Davis
If you would just bow your heads, close your eyes. This is not a performance; I just want you to worship with me as I sing this song.
(Sings)
Why do I feel discouraged? Why do the shadows come? Why must my heart be lonely? And long for my Heavenly Home? When Jesus is my comfort. A constant friend is He. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me. His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me. And now I sing because I'm happy. And I sing because I'm free. And his eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
Amen. Praise His name. If you would, turn with me to Psalm 40. Psalm 40, we're just going to begin with the first verse. It says "I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry."
"I waited patiently." How many of you have ever had to wait for something?
You may not know my story. You probably don't but perhaps you've heard. Many of you, I know, have been asked to pray for me and I appreciate that. But for the past four years and 2 months, I've been incarcerated in prison. I was a prisoner of the Department of Corrections South Carolina. I did 13 months in this prison. Then I was transferred to a trustee's position at a jail in Oconee County where I did 3 years. And I tell you…my father's a pastor. I grew up in a good home. I was taught what was right and what was wrong. And I wasn't a sad case either. I was given many, many opportunities. I was given vocal coaches. I received almost a complete scholarship to Anderson College. The opportunities were there and I went.
But I tell you, it's very easy to become arrogant when you know too much. I got to a point where because I knew the Scriptures and I had been taught them backward and forward throughout my life, that I felt that they didn't apply to me anymore. Young people grow up and you have parents that teach you what's right and they're there to love you when no one else is, but you've reached this age where you think "Well I'm grown up now and I don't need mom and dad anymore. " And in the same way you've reached that point, there will come a place in your life, every person's life, where you say "I don't really need God anymore. I've got my own plan; I know what I want to do. I know what I want to be."
And if you know God's word, if you've been reared and raised in church, you know those Scriptures, it's very easy to become arrogant and think "Well I don't need God anymore, but since I know how God operates, I can worm my way through the system and accomplish what I want to accomplish." We watch movies and we hear about "The Chosen One". That was my mentality; I was "The Chosen One". Billions of people have lived and died, but I was going to be the one person who would succeed in what I wanted to do. I wasn't concerned with what God said anymore.
Now I still loved God, with a superficial love, with a rehearsed, taught love. See, we're taught to say "I love God and hate the devil." But was I at a point in my life where I could say truly "I love you Lord" and mean it? Absolutely not. There are many people today who sing worship songs and have a hard time expressing themselves and expressing their love for God, and the reason is because they don't have one. They say they do. It's a rehearsed love. It's a love that says "I love what you have to offer, God. I love you when it's convenient. I love you when I need something."
I waited patiently on the Lord because I needed something. God brought me to a point where I found out that life would not work that way. I had to surrender to God completely. And remember that He says that if you humble yourself, He'll lift you up. But let's focus on what happens when we don't humble ourselves. God will humble us.
He brought me into a circumstance where I never thought I'd be. Let me tell you, I was one of the most conceited, stuck up individuals. I wouldn't even have to talk. I'd come through the room and you could tell I was full of myself. And here all of a sudden, this great Justin Davis I had built up in my mind, here I was thrown into a jail, my name stripped from me. Number 275462, that's what I would be called. Head shaved, lice powder thrown on me. Thrown into a shower with other men. Forced to pick up a bar of soap that had been used by someone else already to rinse that stuff off with. And before I could even get it off good, I was being cursed at and shoved into a white jumpsuit. Escorted down a sidewalk where there were literally hundreds of men grabbing on the bars of their windows, two and three stories up, yelling profanities about what they intended to do to me once the guard had dropped me off in my cell. We hear prison horror stories and we think "Well that's just television." Perhaps on television, they go a little too far. But those things DO happen. My first week there, I saw a person stabbed and killed less than three bodies away from me, and in a white jumpsuit. I know that's graphic. But to be twenty years old, 115 pounds, and see that….there was no mom and there was no dad. Inside of my mind, I tried to say "I'm Justin Davis. I'm not supposed to be in a place like this. This is for low class. This is for dumb people. This is for people who don't have money, who don't have an education. This is for people who's mom and dad aren't….My dad is a preacher! I'm not supposed to be here!"
But yet, there I was. And there was no one to hear that. I was surrounded by fear.
But in the middle of all of that, in the middle of that mud and mire…Verse 2: "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud, and out of the mire." In the middle of that hole my life had sunken into, God was there.
"How did this happen?" I asked myself. Before you start calling out to God, you ask yourself "How did I get here? What decision did I make that brought me here?" Well, it says that it's a slimy pit. When I think about slime, I'm thinking about mossy stuff growing on the side of a ravine. Picture that. And you always want to go to the ravine. Your parents say "If you play in the woods, stay away from the ravine" and we go straight to the ravine. We want to see what's going on down there because there's a lot of commotion, a lot of noise. There's lots of interesting things going down in the ravine. And young people, I don't believe that parents and teachers are trying to tell you that what's in the ravine is not interesting. Listen, it's interesting! You can drive up and down Haywood Road and find all sorts of interesting things to get into. You'll enjoy yourself for a short time but when you get too close to that edge, when you get too curious about things that don't matter, before you know it, you've slipped on that slime and you find yourself in the bottom of this pit. And you don't stay clean in the pit. Many people think it's possible to climb down in the pit on occasion and come back up and live Godly. Go in and live ungodly, come out and live godly, go in and live ungodly. But listen, mud is difficult to get out and when you come out of that hole you will be stained with something. And some stains are very hard to get out.
How many of you have ever heard of permanent stains? You ever seen a garment that gets a stain on it so bad you just have to throw it away? You couldn't use it anymore. There are things that you can do….You can say "Well I'm going to live a certain way. I'm going to have fun now and one day, I'll get right with God." But understand that there are certain stains that you invite into your life, into your very soul that will scar you for the rest of this life. God will forgive you and there is an eternity of peace and there is a hope for a glorified body. But you can make a mess of your life with one bad decision. Just one. It used to be that we'd think those decisions start when you move out on your own, but nowadays, there are 12, 11, 10 year old people getting locked up for life. It can happen to you.
The mud and the mire. When I think about the mire, I think about an entanglement. I think about how difficult it is to get out. About how, kind of like quick sand, you take one step out and you make a little progress and before you know it, you've dug your hole even deeper. You know, there are other people, there's all sorts of people on the outside of that ravine who will offer you a way out. People offered me all sorts of ways out. They told me if I drank alcohol, I'd feel better. And so I felt like that was a way to get out of my hole, to get out of my trench. So I trusted them. I grabbed hold of that rope and I began to climb, and you know what? Yes, absolutely, I forgot about my problems for a little while. But you know what Satan does? When you get about halfway up, he lets go of that rope and now you fall even farther. You twist an ankle. You break a leg. And you lose hope. You lose desire. It doesn't take long before you say "I'll never get out of this hole. " So you just become satisfied and say "This is all there is to life. This is all I have to look forward to."
Countless men in the department of corrections have climbed rope after rope after rope. They have fallen deeper and deeper and deeper. Prison was a terrible place. I remember the bus ride in. It didn't matter that I weighed 115 pounds. There was a guy next to me that weighed close to 300, and you could see the tears and fear in his eyes also. No one wants to go to prison. Everyone is afraid of what will happen. Here, coming over the hill, I saw Kirkland Reception Center, R & E they call it. It was miles and miles, that's what it looked like, of fences and razor wire. It would go across the ground about 5 feet, up the fence, down the fence, across the ground. You're behind three or four fences. The bus would pull in one gate and it would close behind you. You'd go through the next, and it would close behind you. Where's mom? Where's dad? What happened?
All those people that I gave up, I gave up mom and dad, I gave up God. I gave up the people who really loved me, the people who showed hard love. The people who said "Son, you don't need to do that. Son, you don't need to do this. Son, if you do this it will work. " I gave up all of those people so that I could impress this little crowd. Wal-Mart clothes? I can't wear Wal-Mart clothes. You want to know what I went to jail for? I burglarized buildings so I could have name brand clothes. Many of you don't know what that's like. Many are raised in homes where that's just a given. And until I reached a certain age, I didn't care what I wore, as long as I wasn't naked. But one day at school someone said "What kind of shirt is THAT?" Next thing you know, I was being laughed at. I heard it…"What kind of car are you driving? Get a real car." I was so worked up about what people told me I had to have. Listen, if you have to change who you are to please people, you're not pleasing them with who you are. You're living a lie. Day after day, I lived a lie. Until the point where that lie got costly. I'd keep up such a ridiculous appearance.
So I broke into the Anderson Mall on three different occasions, stole thousands of dollars worth of clothes and cash out of the registers to keep up this lifestyle. And all these people I worked so hard to impress…where were they now? They were not on that bus with me. I would love to tell you when I got to the jail and called them, that they all gladly accepted my collect calls…..They did not. I would love to tell you that if just one out of all those hundreds of people I tried to impress ..the money I spent taking them out to dinners…the money I spent on all the parties and drugs…Just one of them wrote me a letter…NOT ONE. I fell off the planet. They couldn't get anything more out of me, they couldn't use me anymore, so they didn't need me anymore.
Guess what happened when I got out? They start calling. Second day I was home, one of them just walks down my hallway. "Hey!"
I waited patiently for the Lord. And he heard my cry.
What a cry it was! You know, I've cried. I've whined because I didn't get what I wanted. I've cried because I've got a spanking. I've cried because I skinned my elbow. I cried because a girl broke up with me and I had built my life on that. I cried over all kinds of stuff. But I never cried like this right here. This is when your soul within you weeps and cries out to God, in spirit and in truth. A communication that is beyond words. A communication that can not be taught. No one can teach you to go after God like that. That is a work that God does by His spirit. We can pray for you, but God has to do that.
I will tell you this. That type of communication comes a lot more quickly when you're looking for it. So often I hardened my heart, I would sit in services and it would seem as if the pastor were speaking directly to me and I would harden my heart and say "Yes that's true, but not now. Yes that's true but later. I can put that off; I've got my own life. I've got my own agenda." I was involved in every little after school activity that I could be involved in, constantly moving, constantly moving. Everybody liked Justin. There were many who, years later, they'll tell me they wanted to be like me. And I was the most insecure person there was! And here people are wanting to be like me! I didn't want to be like me. They weren't seeing the real me.
He set my feet on a rock. We all create a rock, a life. Many of us are doing that now. As born again, saved Christians, we still have not surrendered to the plan God wants to give you day by day. We still have in our head "Well I'm going to be a preacher one day." Has God really called you to do that? "I want my children to go to college." Well, great, that's a wonderful desire. But have you asked God if that's His desire for your children? We set this rock, this firm, this secure dream of a life out here and we say "I'm going to live toward it. I'm going to read God's word and stand on his principles and make that happen."
One of two things happen. Number one, you never get there. Or you get there and it's not really a rock. It's not a secure place. I had that vision; I worked and worked to get there. I couldn't get there. So I stole and cheated to get there. And when I got there, I was miserable.
Isn't it a shame to know, let's just be real, I love you. But isn't it a shame to know there are people here today who are miserable and are in church? They've got their life going; everything is running like they want it to run. But when they lay down at night, there's no peace. There's no contentment. They don't hear the spirit of God say "its okay." Now God wants to say that to you today. He wants you to have that peace and that assurance. But you can not have peace without three things first.
What are the fruits of the spirit? Love, joy, peace. Before you can have peace, you're going to have to come in contact with God's love. And once you have that love in your heart, then there will be joy when you live for Him. Restore the joy of my salvation. It's something to be saved, it's another thing to have the joy that comes with the salvation. Restore that to me, Lord. I cried out, I said "Lord hear my cry." It says He heard me. He heard me that day. And He gave me a firm place to stand. And He didn't ask me…this is great, I love this…He lowered a rope down to me. He reached down to me the same way that everyone else had reached down, but there was one big difference. He just asked me to grab the rope, He didn't ask me to climb it. And He lifted me out of that pit.
I stand here today a new man, a new person. Born again, a new creation. Not because the Bible says so, although it does. But because it's true. Are you saved? Yes, I'm a new creation. I wasn't a new creation, I was a fraud. Today, I am a new creation in Christ and I can take absolutely no credit for it whatsoever. It is because of His grace and His love that he reached down. He made that perfect offering to me. Praise His name! And today I stand firm.
I just come out of prison, I've been out about three weeks. I was released August 1st (2005). I wore blue jeans every day with holes in them, no name brand there. There is no Tommy Hilfiger in jail. You can see him on the television and you can see how stupid everybody looks running after his clothes. I'm not telling you you're wrong if you got on a Tommy Hilfiger shirt, but when you live for that, and think that's the only thing you can wear, you look ridiculous to somebody that's been out of the circle for a little while. People in other countries, they hear about America, and they hear about all the things we have and all the blessings we have and yet we still whine and complain that things aren't going well. We talk about our economy falling apart when we have two and three cars in the garage. Where is our trust in the Lord? Why can't you not recognize that He has given us a firm place to stand when we surrender to that but we look at everybody else's rock. We say "Well I want to be on their rock, and I want to be on their rock." Be on the rock that God put you on! Be content. Paul said I've been hungry, and I've been full. I've been loved, and I've been spat upon and beat and flogged. And regardless of where I was, I have learned a secret to being content in all things. And that says If the spirit of God is not convicting me today, I'm alright. If the spirit of God is comforting me today, if there's no little piece of my life I'm keeping hid back here that I still want to control and the rest is His, if it's not like that…If all of my self is presented to God to do what He wishes to do with, then I can have peace and contentment. And I can know that my future will prosper. It does not matter how it's going to prosper. It doesn't matter what steps I have to take to get there, God will get me through. Amen.
It says He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise unto my God. There are people here today who would say "Well, up to this point, Justin I agree. " Well where's the new song? You know our speech should change. I'm not talking about quoting scripture. I am a big advocate for that. Speak as much of it, think as much of it as you can. Use as much of it as you can. But your everyday language should change as a result of an encounter with God. I remember Isaiah, what did it say he did? He was in the temple and the train of God was running, and God burned his lips, he seared his lips with a hot coal. There should be a change in the way you talk, in the way you think, in the desires that you have, all of that should change if you are actually out of that pit. Its ridiculous for somebody to say "I'm out of the pit." But they still want to do what pit people want to do. Amen?
We have this thing in jail called "Jailhouse Religion". How many of you have heard of that? Jailhouse religion...I'll just give it to you briefly, I've given it before. It's kind of interesting. Jailhouse religion is when you get locked up, you don't like it, and you look for a way out. You see all of the religious paraphernalia and pamphlets and preachers coming back and forth and that's all you see coming, other than the meal truck. So you say "Well that must be my way out." So you call home and you whine and you say "Oh mom and dad, I have found Jesus and I am right with God. Hallelujah! Come pay my bail and get me out and let's go to church." Many people have taken their children up on that offer. But that Sunday when it comes time to go to church, the car is empty. That's jailhouse religion.
But we have jailhouse religion out here. We have people who talk about God, who say things about God, who claim to know God. "Oh I pray so many hours a day. I have quiet time. I study my bible. I do this." I go..That's great. Are you really in contact with God? When you're sitting here listening to the music, are you getting hyped up on the emotion and the drum beating or are you singing to God your Father, thanking Him for all He's done?
Many of us can not sing and praise God effectively because we aren't living for Him during the week. The type of praise that we do in here is an outward display of what should be going on all week long on the inside. It doesn't matter how many instrumentalists you get and how loud the music gets, you can not create a rambunctious worship service. You can't make that happen. It comes as the result of genuinely walking with God. And seeing the fruit of Him living in your life. Let's talk about fruits. Praise God, there should be some. One of those is the way you talk. Many will see and hear and put their trust in the Lord. One of the best ways to know you're genuinely walking in the spirit and filled with His power is that people come to know the Lord as a result of meeting you. Who was the last person you lead to the Lord? There's not a certain number, it's not to say you do it every day or every week. But you know who you are. Is your life a testimony for Christ? Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust.
In that jail, convicted by the spirit and drawn to Him, I made a choice. I said "Lord, I want you to do what You do." And He did it. From that day forward, I studied my bible every day. Again, it was a zeal for the Lord that was not my own. It was not a thing of I'm so disciplined that I sit down and read 3 hours a day and you're not disciplined enough to read 5 minutes. It wasn't that type of thing. It was this: "Justin I want you to read, Justin I want you to read." And everything else grieved my spirit. That was strange because some of the same things had been going on all year long and all through my life and never bothered me. But now, watching somebody get stolen from. Now, watching someone get beat down or just brag about all the people they hurt or could hurt….IT HURT! I was surrounded by pure evil for 24 hours a day for 4 years and 2 months! And yet still I miss the place because of the joy I had in the Lord every day. I don't miss the jail. I miss what God was doing there. Amen? That's what God can do! Most people you meet in jail don't even want to tell you about them being there. Listen, God did his greatest work…probably the greatest work He'll ever do in my life..there. And I will not refrain from sharing it. So often we look at our sins that we commit on a daily basis and we ask God to forgive us and we go on and we don't do it anymore. But we don't speak out about it! Confess your sins to one another! That may be what I need to hear. I may need to hear that many of you has a similar experience. Don't hide those things. That is part of your song, your life is a song to other people. And you should be leading people to the Lord every day. They may not pray a Sinner's Prayer right there in front of you but you should plant those seeds every single day wherever you are. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look aside to the proud.
Another thing that happens when you come out of that hole is you lose curiosity in the hole. You quit looking into the hole and start looking elsewhere. You cannot come to God and ask Him to save you and change your life, and continue to live for the same things. You've got to embrace His promise that says I know the plans I have for you, things that are beyond anything you can fathom. And you know what you need to do? Start fathoming those things! Start thinking about those things! Stop trying to guess about all of the many things God can do for you. Keep an open mind, an open hope and allow God to do those things. It's when we speak like this, "Well I got a bill due and I don't know how I'm going to pay it." I know how I'm going to pay mine! I came out of jail and hadn't had a job in 4 years. I've been out 3 weeks and God has given me one. I don't make bit maybe six dollars an hour. That's not much and it's part time. And I have a ridiculous restitution payment of $20 something thousand dollars I've got to pay back. I have college loans that I took out that I've got to pay back. And these things are WAY delinquent. They're all the time calling saying "When are you going to do this and when are you going to do that?" I just got my first mail response from these people and you know what? I told them "God will provide the money." That's where it's going to come from. It's scribbles, it's numbers on paper. Don't allow these things to upset you. When your friends get upset with you at school , when somebody steals your boyfriend, when somebody says something…don't be upset at what somebody said. Don't be on the phone for 2 hours, and call all of your friends talking about what she said or he said and try and turn everybody against each other. Just say "Well let's pray for her. And maybe she's right. I'm going to look at my life and see if she is. If she's not right, I'm not going to be mad at her. I'm going to try to figure out why she did what she did, why she said what she said." Why do people do what they do? You know, it's so easy to minister and love people when you understand what's motivating them. As a Christian, we're motivated by the love of God. As a lost person, you're motivated by selfish needs and desires. Period. Why would a person say something nasty about you? They're jealous, or they're selfish, , or they think some way that by tearing you down it's going to make them feel better or get them ahead. So once you understand that, you can deal with it.
I say that to young people because I remember being in high school and walking up and down the hallways. There were 1200 people in my school, and I knew 10…15. Every day I'd see the same faces pass me on the way to class. They'd look at me, I'd look at them. But we would not dare speak to each other. I don't know what we were so scared of. It's like there's some invisible wall there. And I'd walk in to the big cafeteria and here are all these people sitting around and I can't find a seat because I don't see anywhere I can sit that I'd be comfortable. Step out. Go to a place where you're uncomfortable. Sit down with some people that don't know you and show them love. They may resist you, and that's fine. Go somewhere else. 'd give this advice to every young person that came to the jail. Sit at a different table every time you go to lunch. Make an effort to speak to someone you don't know every day. Adults in the workplace – Make an effort every day to talk to that person that you don't talk to. If you find yourself speaking to one person a lot, get away from that. Get out of the comfort zone. Go ye therefore and teach all nations. Let that song ring out, turn people to the Lord. Don't look to the same old vices. Don't look to proud people who offer other ways to get out of your sin.
In closing, skipping to verse 14…May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion. In jail, it is a dangerous place, as I said. And I've grown a little bit since then, but I was about 115 pounds. I was weak. And because I was young and fair skinned, I was pretty. Its kind of funny, but it's not funny. There were days I wouldn't shave. There were days I wouldn't fix my hair. There were days I would leave and try to look unattractive on purpose. A man's been in jail for life…given over to his flesh, pushed God out….they're coming after you. I wish I could tell you that every person I shared the Gospel with , every time I read my Bible, I was well received. Unfortunately, that's not the truth. But God always stood behind me. And He quite often would allow them to get just to the point where I was up against the wall surrounded and something terrible was about to take place. And yet still God would interrupt. A guard would come by at just the right time and everybody would scatter. There were times when I was in a room and we had all our canteen…that's your hygiene products and your snacks and stuff that your people send money for. The food in prison is absolutely horrible. And I remember leaving mine unlocked because I had been robbed so many times and I said "Lord, I'm not going to trust in my lock anymore. I'm going to trust in You." And there was a day when three other people in my room, they all had locks on their locker, we had just gone to canteen, and we had spent collectively probably about 250 dollars worth of stuff. We went out to the rec yard, came back. Everybody's locker had been peeled back and broken into but mine. And mine had no lock. Everything was there. There was protection in trusting God. Innumerable evils have surrounded me. My heart fails within me. How am I going to make it? How am I going to survive? And that date for release seems so far off. I couldn't put hope in that to have joy. "I'm so excited I get out in five years!" That won't work. My joy was in the Lord, my trust was in Him. And every time my enemies would be put back into confusion.
There were times when I would begin to preach at the Oconee Law Enforcement Center. There was no service, there was nothing going on at all when I got there. And out of a little bible study, the same way this church began, it grew and grew until we were having at least 23 people in a worship style service every Sunday morning. We tithed, we bought our own bibles, we bought our own sound system. We had a church in that place. And there were men who would leave and go out and be poor. And not be able to get on their feet. They would get arrested and many of them would call, that were running on warrants and things like that, many of them would call so they could be arrested to get back in this place. And I'm not telling you it was exclusively for the faith. They had food and they had shelter that they didn't have out there. But they would always look forward to Sunday morning. They'd come in, "Justin, y'all still having church?" Yes, we're still having church. And I began to preach. Without any education, without any teaching other than just what I'd seen my father doing growing up. God did that in me. He gave me a love for those men. I was speaking to people that were three times my age, giving them wisdom from God's word that I had yet to be given an opportunity to put into practice. But they were taking it, applying it to their life and things were changing. That's what God can do. I had enemies. "He's just an old jailhouse preacher. He's a false prophet, false teacher. This and that. He's a racist." And I dealt with every type of accusation you can deal with, put back in the corner, cursed at, Bibles ripped into pieces because someone didn't like the fact that I carried it with me. And God gave courage.
As I left that place, I can truly say that verse 15 is correct: "May those who say to me Aha! Aha! be put back at their own shame." It's not my desire for those men to be in shame today. It's not my desire for them to be running from God, and being hurt and being punished. That's not my desire. But many of them are today. They are because I didn't seek vengeance on my own. God gave me peace, He fought my battles for me, and He brought me out. May those who love your salvation always say "The Lord be exalted." If you would, say it with me now. The Lord be exalted. Let that be the statement for your life this week. May the Lord be exalted in all things. Yet I am poor. I am! And I'm needy. The Lord is thinking of me. You are my health, and You are my deliverer, Oh my God do not delay.
God is not slow as some consider slowness to be. Paul said that. But I'll tell you there are many of today that God has a desire to do a great thing in your life. But YOU are delaying Him. He's standing there with the rope, asking you to hang on. He will not stand around forever. I don't say that to scare you, I say there is an urgency..Life is passing you by, young people and those of you who are older, who are approaching that day when you will see God face to face. I wish I could just fast forward and be there with you. But during these last days, don't keep your mouth quiet. Don't be discouraged when people don't listen. Continue to hold out the life, the word of God to them. Seek God with your whole heart now, turn from that nonsense. It is a waste of time. And if you're not there yet, guard yourself against it. When they say "Don't go near the ditch", stay away from it!
God can do great things in your life. Don't put them off. Don't miss out on blessings that God has for you. Amen? It was not necessary for me to go to prison. I chose that. And God made something good out of it. And I wouldn't trade it for anything now. But don't go to prison. Don't force God to discipline you in such a way. Embrace His love now, willingly. And you will be blessed. Amen.
If you would just bow your heads, close your eyes. This is not a performance; I just want you to worship with me as I sing this song.
(Sings)
Why do I feel discouraged? Why do the shadows come? Why must my heart be lonely? And long for my Heavenly Home? When Jesus is my comfort. A constant friend is He. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me. His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me. And now I sing because I'm happy. And I sing because I'm free. And his eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.
Amen. Praise His name. If you would, turn with me to Psalm 40. Psalm 40, we're just going to begin with the first verse. It says "I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry."
"I waited patiently." How many of you have ever had to wait for something?
You may not know my story. You probably don't but perhaps you've heard. Many of you, I know, have been asked to pray for me and I appreciate that. But for the past four years and 2 months, I've been incarcerated in prison. I was a prisoner of the Department of Corrections South Carolina. I did 13 months in this prison. Then I was transferred to a trustee's position at a jail in Oconee County where I did 3 years. And I tell you…my father's a pastor. I grew up in a good home. I was taught what was right and what was wrong. And I wasn't a sad case either. I was given many, many opportunities. I was given vocal coaches. I received almost a complete scholarship to Anderson College. The opportunities were there and I went.
But I tell you, it's very easy to become arrogant when you know too much. I got to a point where because I knew the Scriptures and I had been taught them backward and forward throughout my life, that I felt that they didn't apply to me anymore. Young people grow up and you have parents that teach you what's right and they're there to love you when no one else is, but you've reached this age where you think "Well I'm grown up now and I don't need mom and dad anymore. " And in the same way you've reached that point, there will come a place in your life, every person's life, where you say "I don't really need God anymore. I've got my own plan; I know what I want to do. I know what I want to be."
And if you know God's word, if you've been reared and raised in church, you know those Scriptures, it's very easy to become arrogant and think "Well I don't need God anymore, but since I know how God operates, I can worm my way through the system and accomplish what I want to accomplish." We watch movies and we hear about "The Chosen One". That was my mentality; I was "The Chosen One". Billions of people have lived and died, but I was going to be the one person who would succeed in what I wanted to do. I wasn't concerned with what God said anymore.
Now I still loved God, with a superficial love, with a rehearsed, taught love. See, we're taught to say "I love God and hate the devil." But was I at a point in my life where I could say truly "I love you Lord" and mean it? Absolutely not. There are many people today who sing worship songs and have a hard time expressing themselves and expressing their love for God, and the reason is because they don't have one. They say they do. It's a rehearsed love. It's a love that says "I love what you have to offer, God. I love you when it's convenient. I love you when I need something."
I waited patiently on the Lord because I needed something. God brought me to a point where I found out that life would not work that way. I had to surrender to God completely. And remember that He says that if you humble yourself, He'll lift you up. But let's focus on what happens when we don't humble ourselves. God will humble us.
He brought me into a circumstance where I never thought I'd be. Let me tell you, I was one of the most conceited, stuck up individuals. I wouldn't even have to talk. I'd come through the room and you could tell I was full of myself. And here all of a sudden, this great Justin Davis I had built up in my mind, here I was thrown into a jail, my name stripped from me. Number 275462, that's what I would be called. Head shaved, lice powder thrown on me. Thrown into a shower with other men. Forced to pick up a bar of soap that had been used by someone else already to rinse that stuff off with. And before I could even get it off good, I was being cursed at and shoved into a white jumpsuit. Escorted down a sidewalk where there were literally hundreds of men grabbing on the bars of their windows, two and three stories up, yelling profanities about what they intended to do to me once the guard had dropped me off in my cell. We hear prison horror stories and we think "Well that's just television." Perhaps on television, they go a little too far. But those things DO happen. My first week there, I saw a person stabbed and killed less than three bodies away from me, and in a white jumpsuit. I know that's graphic. But to be twenty years old, 115 pounds, and see that….there was no mom and there was no dad. Inside of my mind, I tried to say "I'm Justin Davis. I'm not supposed to be in a place like this. This is for low class. This is for dumb people. This is for people who don't have money, who don't have an education. This is for people who's mom and dad aren't….My dad is a preacher! I'm not supposed to be here!"
But yet, there I was. And there was no one to hear that. I was surrounded by fear.
But in the middle of all of that, in the middle of that mud and mire…Verse 2: "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud, and out of the mire." In the middle of that hole my life had sunken into, God was there.
"How did this happen?" I asked myself. Before you start calling out to God, you ask yourself "How did I get here? What decision did I make that brought me here?" Well, it says that it's a slimy pit. When I think about slime, I'm thinking about mossy stuff growing on the side of a ravine. Picture that. And you always want to go to the ravine. Your parents say "If you play in the woods, stay away from the ravine" and we go straight to the ravine. We want to see what's going on down there because there's a lot of commotion, a lot of noise. There's lots of interesting things going down in the ravine. And young people, I don't believe that parents and teachers are trying to tell you that what's in the ravine is not interesting. Listen, it's interesting! You can drive up and down Haywood Road and find all sorts of interesting things to get into. You'll enjoy yourself for a short time but when you get too close to that edge, when you get too curious about things that don't matter, before you know it, you've slipped on that slime and you find yourself in the bottom of this pit. And you don't stay clean in the pit. Many people think it's possible to climb down in the pit on occasion and come back up and live Godly. Go in and live ungodly, come out and live godly, go in and live ungodly. But listen, mud is difficult to get out and when you come out of that hole you will be stained with something. And some stains are very hard to get out.
How many of you have ever heard of permanent stains? You ever seen a garment that gets a stain on it so bad you just have to throw it away? You couldn't use it anymore. There are things that you can do….You can say "Well I'm going to live a certain way. I'm going to have fun now and one day, I'll get right with God." But understand that there are certain stains that you invite into your life, into your very soul that will scar you for the rest of this life. God will forgive you and there is an eternity of peace and there is a hope for a glorified body. But you can make a mess of your life with one bad decision. Just one. It used to be that we'd think those decisions start when you move out on your own, but nowadays, there are 12, 11, 10 year old people getting locked up for life. It can happen to you.
The mud and the mire. When I think about the mire, I think about an entanglement. I think about how difficult it is to get out. About how, kind of like quick sand, you take one step out and you make a little progress and before you know it, you've dug your hole even deeper. You know, there are other people, there's all sorts of people on the outside of that ravine who will offer you a way out. People offered me all sorts of ways out. They told me if I drank alcohol, I'd feel better. And so I felt like that was a way to get out of my hole, to get out of my trench. So I trusted them. I grabbed hold of that rope and I began to climb, and you know what? Yes, absolutely, I forgot about my problems for a little while. But you know what Satan does? When you get about halfway up, he lets go of that rope and now you fall even farther. You twist an ankle. You break a leg. And you lose hope. You lose desire. It doesn't take long before you say "I'll never get out of this hole. " So you just become satisfied and say "This is all there is to life. This is all I have to look forward to."
Countless men in the department of corrections have climbed rope after rope after rope. They have fallen deeper and deeper and deeper. Prison was a terrible place. I remember the bus ride in. It didn't matter that I weighed 115 pounds. There was a guy next to me that weighed close to 300, and you could see the tears and fear in his eyes also. No one wants to go to prison. Everyone is afraid of what will happen. Here, coming over the hill, I saw Kirkland Reception Center, R & E they call it. It was miles and miles, that's what it looked like, of fences and razor wire. It would go across the ground about 5 feet, up the fence, down the fence, across the ground. You're behind three or four fences. The bus would pull in one gate and it would close behind you. You'd go through the next, and it would close behind you. Where's mom? Where's dad? What happened?
All those people that I gave up, I gave up mom and dad, I gave up God. I gave up the people who really loved me, the people who showed hard love. The people who said "Son, you don't need to do that. Son, you don't need to do this. Son, if you do this it will work. " I gave up all of those people so that I could impress this little crowd. Wal-Mart clothes? I can't wear Wal-Mart clothes. You want to know what I went to jail for? I burglarized buildings so I could have name brand clothes. Many of you don't know what that's like. Many are raised in homes where that's just a given. And until I reached a certain age, I didn't care what I wore, as long as I wasn't naked. But one day at school someone said "What kind of shirt is THAT?" Next thing you know, I was being laughed at. I heard it…"What kind of car are you driving? Get a real car." I was so worked up about what people told me I had to have. Listen, if you have to change who you are to please people, you're not pleasing them with who you are. You're living a lie. Day after day, I lived a lie. Until the point where that lie got costly. I'd keep up such a ridiculous appearance.
So I broke into the Anderson Mall on three different occasions, stole thousands of dollars worth of clothes and cash out of the registers to keep up this lifestyle. And all these people I worked so hard to impress…where were they now? They were not on that bus with me. I would love to tell you when I got to the jail and called them, that they all gladly accepted my collect calls…..They did not. I would love to tell you that if just one out of all those hundreds of people I tried to impress ..the money I spent taking them out to dinners…the money I spent on all the parties and drugs…Just one of them wrote me a letter…NOT ONE. I fell off the planet. They couldn't get anything more out of me, they couldn't use me anymore, so they didn't need me anymore.
Guess what happened when I got out? They start calling. Second day I was home, one of them just walks down my hallway. "Hey!"
I waited patiently for the Lord. And he heard my cry.
What a cry it was! You know, I've cried. I've whined because I didn't get what I wanted. I've cried because I've got a spanking. I've cried because I skinned my elbow. I cried because a girl broke up with me and I had built my life on that. I cried over all kinds of stuff. But I never cried like this right here. This is when your soul within you weeps and cries out to God, in spirit and in truth. A communication that is beyond words. A communication that can not be taught. No one can teach you to go after God like that. That is a work that God does by His spirit. We can pray for you, but God has to do that.
I will tell you this. That type of communication comes a lot more quickly when you're looking for it. So often I hardened my heart, I would sit in services and it would seem as if the pastor were speaking directly to me and I would harden my heart and say "Yes that's true, but not now. Yes that's true but later. I can put that off; I've got my own life. I've got my own agenda." I was involved in every little after school activity that I could be involved in, constantly moving, constantly moving. Everybody liked Justin. There were many who, years later, they'll tell me they wanted to be like me. And I was the most insecure person there was! And here people are wanting to be like me! I didn't want to be like me. They weren't seeing the real me.
He set my feet on a rock. We all create a rock, a life. Many of us are doing that now. As born again, saved Christians, we still have not surrendered to the plan God wants to give you day by day. We still have in our head "Well I'm going to be a preacher one day." Has God really called you to do that? "I want my children to go to college." Well, great, that's a wonderful desire. But have you asked God if that's His desire for your children? We set this rock, this firm, this secure dream of a life out here and we say "I'm going to live toward it. I'm going to read God's word and stand on his principles and make that happen."
One of two things happen. Number one, you never get there. Or you get there and it's not really a rock. It's not a secure place. I had that vision; I worked and worked to get there. I couldn't get there. So I stole and cheated to get there. And when I got there, I was miserable.
Isn't it a shame to know, let's just be real, I love you. But isn't it a shame to know there are people here today who are miserable and are in church? They've got their life going; everything is running like they want it to run. But when they lay down at night, there's no peace. There's no contentment. They don't hear the spirit of God say "its okay." Now God wants to say that to you today. He wants you to have that peace and that assurance. But you can not have peace without three things first.
What are the fruits of the spirit? Love, joy, peace. Before you can have peace, you're going to have to come in contact with God's love. And once you have that love in your heart, then there will be joy when you live for Him. Restore the joy of my salvation. It's something to be saved, it's another thing to have the joy that comes with the salvation. Restore that to me, Lord. I cried out, I said "Lord hear my cry." It says He heard me. He heard me that day. And He gave me a firm place to stand. And He didn't ask me…this is great, I love this…He lowered a rope down to me. He reached down to me the same way that everyone else had reached down, but there was one big difference. He just asked me to grab the rope, He didn't ask me to climb it. And He lifted me out of that pit.
I stand here today a new man, a new person. Born again, a new creation. Not because the Bible says so, although it does. But because it's true. Are you saved? Yes, I'm a new creation. I wasn't a new creation, I was a fraud. Today, I am a new creation in Christ and I can take absolutely no credit for it whatsoever. It is because of His grace and His love that he reached down. He made that perfect offering to me. Praise His name! And today I stand firm.
I just come out of prison, I've been out about three weeks. I was released August 1st (2005). I wore blue jeans every day with holes in them, no name brand there. There is no Tommy Hilfiger in jail. You can see him on the television and you can see how stupid everybody looks running after his clothes. I'm not telling you you're wrong if you got on a Tommy Hilfiger shirt, but when you live for that, and think that's the only thing you can wear, you look ridiculous to somebody that's been out of the circle for a little while. People in other countries, they hear about America, and they hear about all the things we have and all the blessings we have and yet we still whine and complain that things aren't going well. We talk about our economy falling apart when we have two and three cars in the garage. Where is our trust in the Lord? Why can't you not recognize that He has given us a firm place to stand when we surrender to that but we look at everybody else's rock. We say "Well I want to be on their rock, and I want to be on their rock." Be on the rock that God put you on! Be content. Paul said I've been hungry, and I've been full. I've been loved, and I've been spat upon and beat and flogged. And regardless of where I was, I have learned a secret to being content in all things. And that says If the spirit of God is not convicting me today, I'm alright. If the spirit of God is comforting me today, if there's no little piece of my life I'm keeping hid back here that I still want to control and the rest is His, if it's not like that…If all of my self is presented to God to do what He wishes to do with, then I can have peace and contentment. And I can know that my future will prosper. It does not matter how it's going to prosper. It doesn't matter what steps I have to take to get there, God will get me through. Amen.
It says He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise unto my God. There are people here today who would say "Well, up to this point, Justin I agree. " Well where's the new song? You know our speech should change. I'm not talking about quoting scripture. I am a big advocate for that. Speak as much of it, think as much of it as you can. Use as much of it as you can. But your everyday language should change as a result of an encounter with God. I remember Isaiah, what did it say he did? He was in the temple and the train of God was running, and God burned his lips, he seared his lips with a hot coal. There should be a change in the way you talk, in the way you think, in the desires that you have, all of that should change if you are actually out of that pit. Its ridiculous for somebody to say "I'm out of the pit." But they still want to do what pit people want to do. Amen?
We have this thing in jail called "Jailhouse Religion". How many of you have heard of that? Jailhouse religion...I'll just give it to you briefly, I've given it before. It's kind of interesting. Jailhouse religion is when you get locked up, you don't like it, and you look for a way out. You see all of the religious paraphernalia and pamphlets and preachers coming back and forth and that's all you see coming, other than the meal truck. So you say "Well that must be my way out." So you call home and you whine and you say "Oh mom and dad, I have found Jesus and I am right with God. Hallelujah! Come pay my bail and get me out and let's go to church." Many people have taken their children up on that offer. But that Sunday when it comes time to go to church, the car is empty. That's jailhouse religion.
But we have jailhouse religion out here. We have people who talk about God, who say things about God, who claim to know God. "Oh I pray so many hours a day. I have quiet time. I study my bible. I do this." I go..That's great. Are you really in contact with God? When you're sitting here listening to the music, are you getting hyped up on the emotion and the drum beating or are you singing to God your Father, thanking Him for all He's done?
Many of us can not sing and praise God effectively because we aren't living for Him during the week. The type of praise that we do in here is an outward display of what should be going on all week long on the inside. It doesn't matter how many instrumentalists you get and how loud the music gets, you can not create a rambunctious worship service. You can't make that happen. It comes as the result of genuinely walking with God. And seeing the fruit of Him living in your life. Let's talk about fruits. Praise God, there should be some. One of those is the way you talk. Many will see and hear and put their trust in the Lord. One of the best ways to know you're genuinely walking in the spirit and filled with His power is that people come to know the Lord as a result of meeting you. Who was the last person you lead to the Lord? There's not a certain number, it's not to say you do it every day or every week. But you know who you are. Is your life a testimony for Christ? Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust.
In that jail, convicted by the spirit and drawn to Him, I made a choice. I said "Lord, I want you to do what You do." And He did it. From that day forward, I studied my bible every day. Again, it was a zeal for the Lord that was not my own. It was not a thing of I'm so disciplined that I sit down and read 3 hours a day and you're not disciplined enough to read 5 minutes. It wasn't that type of thing. It was this: "Justin I want you to read, Justin I want you to read." And everything else grieved my spirit. That was strange because some of the same things had been going on all year long and all through my life and never bothered me. But now, watching somebody get stolen from. Now, watching someone get beat down or just brag about all the people they hurt or could hurt….IT HURT! I was surrounded by pure evil for 24 hours a day for 4 years and 2 months! And yet still I miss the place because of the joy I had in the Lord every day. I don't miss the jail. I miss what God was doing there. Amen? That's what God can do! Most people you meet in jail don't even want to tell you about them being there. Listen, God did his greatest work…probably the greatest work He'll ever do in my life..there. And I will not refrain from sharing it. So often we look at our sins that we commit on a daily basis and we ask God to forgive us and we go on and we don't do it anymore. But we don't speak out about it! Confess your sins to one another! That may be what I need to hear. I may need to hear that many of you has a similar experience. Don't hide those things. That is part of your song, your life is a song to other people. And you should be leading people to the Lord every day. They may not pray a Sinner's Prayer right there in front of you but you should plant those seeds every single day wherever you are. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look aside to the proud.
Another thing that happens when you come out of that hole is you lose curiosity in the hole. You quit looking into the hole and start looking elsewhere. You cannot come to God and ask Him to save you and change your life, and continue to live for the same things. You've got to embrace His promise that says I know the plans I have for you, things that are beyond anything you can fathom. And you know what you need to do? Start fathoming those things! Start thinking about those things! Stop trying to guess about all of the many things God can do for you. Keep an open mind, an open hope and allow God to do those things. It's when we speak like this, "Well I got a bill due and I don't know how I'm going to pay it." I know how I'm going to pay mine! I came out of jail and hadn't had a job in 4 years. I've been out 3 weeks and God has given me one. I don't make bit maybe six dollars an hour. That's not much and it's part time. And I have a ridiculous restitution payment of $20 something thousand dollars I've got to pay back. I have college loans that I took out that I've got to pay back. And these things are WAY delinquent. They're all the time calling saying "When are you going to do this and when are you going to do that?" I just got my first mail response from these people and you know what? I told them "God will provide the money." That's where it's going to come from. It's scribbles, it's numbers on paper. Don't allow these things to upset you. When your friends get upset with you at school , when somebody steals your boyfriend, when somebody says something…don't be upset at what somebody said. Don't be on the phone for 2 hours, and call all of your friends talking about what she said or he said and try and turn everybody against each other. Just say "Well let's pray for her. And maybe she's right. I'm going to look at my life and see if she is. If she's not right, I'm not going to be mad at her. I'm going to try to figure out why she did what she did, why she said what she said." Why do people do what they do? You know, it's so easy to minister and love people when you understand what's motivating them. As a Christian, we're motivated by the love of God. As a lost person, you're motivated by selfish needs and desires. Period. Why would a person say something nasty about you? They're jealous, or they're selfish, , or they think some way that by tearing you down it's going to make them feel better or get them ahead. So once you understand that, you can deal with it.
I say that to young people because I remember being in high school and walking up and down the hallways. There were 1200 people in my school, and I knew 10…15. Every day I'd see the same faces pass me on the way to class. They'd look at me, I'd look at them. But we would not dare speak to each other. I don't know what we were so scared of. It's like there's some invisible wall there. And I'd walk in to the big cafeteria and here are all these people sitting around and I can't find a seat because I don't see anywhere I can sit that I'd be comfortable. Step out. Go to a place where you're uncomfortable. Sit down with some people that don't know you and show them love. They may resist you, and that's fine. Go somewhere else. 'd give this advice to every young person that came to the jail. Sit at a different table every time you go to lunch. Make an effort to speak to someone you don't know every day. Adults in the workplace – Make an effort every day to talk to that person that you don't talk to. If you find yourself speaking to one person a lot, get away from that. Get out of the comfort zone. Go ye therefore and teach all nations. Let that song ring out, turn people to the Lord. Don't look to the same old vices. Don't look to proud people who offer other ways to get out of your sin.
In closing, skipping to verse 14…May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion. In jail, it is a dangerous place, as I said. And I've grown a little bit since then, but I was about 115 pounds. I was weak. And because I was young and fair skinned, I was pretty. Its kind of funny, but it's not funny. There were days I wouldn't shave. There were days I wouldn't fix my hair. There were days I would leave and try to look unattractive on purpose. A man's been in jail for life…given over to his flesh, pushed God out….they're coming after you. I wish I could tell you that every person I shared the Gospel with , every time I read my Bible, I was well received. Unfortunately, that's not the truth. But God always stood behind me. And He quite often would allow them to get just to the point where I was up against the wall surrounded and something terrible was about to take place. And yet still God would interrupt. A guard would come by at just the right time and everybody would scatter. There were times when I was in a room and we had all our canteen…that's your hygiene products and your snacks and stuff that your people send money for. The food in prison is absolutely horrible. And I remember leaving mine unlocked because I had been robbed so many times and I said "Lord, I'm not going to trust in my lock anymore. I'm going to trust in You." And there was a day when three other people in my room, they all had locks on their locker, we had just gone to canteen, and we had spent collectively probably about 250 dollars worth of stuff. We went out to the rec yard, came back. Everybody's locker had been peeled back and broken into but mine. And mine had no lock. Everything was there. There was protection in trusting God. Innumerable evils have surrounded me. My heart fails within me. How am I going to make it? How am I going to survive? And that date for release seems so far off. I couldn't put hope in that to have joy. "I'm so excited I get out in five years!" That won't work. My joy was in the Lord, my trust was in Him. And every time my enemies would be put back into confusion.
There were times when I would begin to preach at the Oconee Law Enforcement Center. There was no service, there was nothing going on at all when I got there. And out of a little bible study, the same way this church began, it grew and grew until we were having at least 23 people in a worship style service every Sunday morning. We tithed, we bought our own bibles, we bought our own sound system. We had a church in that place. And there were men who would leave and go out and be poor. And not be able to get on their feet. They would get arrested and many of them would call, that were running on warrants and things like that, many of them would call so they could be arrested to get back in this place. And I'm not telling you it was exclusively for the faith. They had food and they had shelter that they didn't have out there. But they would always look forward to Sunday morning. They'd come in, "Justin, y'all still having church?" Yes, we're still having church. And I began to preach. Without any education, without any teaching other than just what I'd seen my father doing growing up. God did that in me. He gave me a love for those men. I was speaking to people that were three times my age, giving them wisdom from God's word that I had yet to be given an opportunity to put into practice. But they were taking it, applying it to their life and things were changing. That's what God can do. I had enemies. "He's just an old jailhouse preacher. He's a false prophet, false teacher. This and that. He's a racist." And I dealt with every type of accusation you can deal with, put back in the corner, cursed at, Bibles ripped into pieces because someone didn't like the fact that I carried it with me. And God gave courage.
As I left that place, I can truly say that verse 15 is correct: "May those who say to me Aha! Aha! be put back at their own shame." It's not my desire for those men to be in shame today. It's not my desire for them to be running from God, and being hurt and being punished. That's not my desire. But many of them are today. They are because I didn't seek vengeance on my own. God gave me peace, He fought my battles for me, and He brought me out. May those who love your salvation always say "The Lord be exalted." If you would, say it with me now. The Lord be exalted. Let that be the statement for your life this week. May the Lord be exalted in all things. Yet I am poor. I am! And I'm needy. The Lord is thinking of me. You are my health, and You are my deliverer, Oh my God do not delay.
God is not slow as some consider slowness to be. Paul said that. But I'll tell you there are many of today that God has a desire to do a great thing in your life. But YOU are delaying Him. He's standing there with the rope, asking you to hang on. He will not stand around forever. I don't say that to scare you, I say there is an urgency..Life is passing you by, young people and those of you who are older, who are approaching that day when you will see God face to face. I wish I could just fast forward and be there with you. But during these last days, don't keep your mouth quiet. Don't be discouraged when people don't listen. Continue to hold out the life, the word of God to them. Seek God with your whole heart now, turn from that nonsense. It is a waste of time. And if you're not there yet, guard yourself against it. When they say "Don't go near the ditch", stay away from it!
God can do great things in your life. Don't put them off. Don't miss out on blessings that God has for you. Amen? It was not necessary for me to go to prison. I chose that. And God made something good out of it. And I wouldn't trade it for anything now. But don't go to prison. Don't force God to discipline you in such a way. Embrace His love now, willingly. And you will be blessed. Amen.
posted by Danny @ 6:09 PM
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